I can’t believe you’re really leaving for good. Sure, you’ve been showing signs that it was time to go. For the last few months we’ve been in limbo, doing that on-again, off-again thing. I’ve been trying to hold on to you, my son’s nap, but deep down I knew that our relationship couldn’t last forever.

You and I have had a good thing going for these last four years. Since the beginning, you’ve been there for me. Sure, you haven’t always been the most reliable partner. Sometimes you were glorious and lasted 2+ hours, while other times your presence was frustratingly brief. Regardless, you showed up day after day, and always made things a little brighter. I’m afraid I’ve never really taken the time to tell you how much you mean to me, so this message is really overdue.

In those early days, when my son would not let me put him down without screaming bloody murder, you were there. Because of you I could eat a quick lunch, send a few emails, or when I was feeling really daring, take a shower.

You’ve given me the gift of quiet on days that were otherwise filled with whining, crying and screaming.

I have you to thank for being able to hold down my part-time job from home.

When the day’s meltdowns had me ready to physically bang my head into the wall, you were there to restore my son’s sanity.

Because of you, my house has been only a partial mess, rather than complete and epic disaster.

Sure, it wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes you showed up at inopportune times, like on a late afternoon drive that then totally screwed up bedtime. But all in all, it’s been a good ride.

I know this isn’t a totally permanent goodbye. You’ll still show up from time to time in the coming months, if sickness hits or we have an especially exhausting morning. But it won’t be the same; you and I both know it.

So this is basically the end. We knew this day would come, but I’m still a little heartbroken to say goodbye. I just want you to know how much you’ve meant to me. I’ll never forget you.

XOXO,

A Grateful Mama