A Mom Blog Confession

A Mom Blog Confession

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday, and saw an article with a title strikingly similar to my last blog post. I followed the link, and the post was strikingly similar too. The content itself was different, but the basic conclusion of the piece was virtually identical. This {bleep} ripped me, and now she’s going viral, I (very unkindly) thought to myself.

I followed the link to the original post to check the publication date, certain that I would catch the author red-handed. But there it was: December 2016. Five months before I wrote mine.

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh crap. Am I the {bleep} that ripped her off?

I’ve been wracking my brain, and I still don’t know what happened. As a mom, and specifically as a mom who writes, I read a lot of other parenting blogs. Some posts really stick with me, but this certainly wasn’t one of them. Could I have read the post and then forgotten about it? Could the idea have lodged itself somewhere in my unconscious brain? Or could this idea just have been hanging out in the ether, and we both arrived at it independently – a bizarre but genuine coincidence?

I have no idea. But I do know that all of my insecurities immediately came flooding to the forefront of my brain, the same ones that made me hesitant to even start this blog. I question whether I have anything to say that hasn’t already been said, and whether the world really needs one more mom blog.

For every piece I share, there are five saved on my computer on the Island of Misfit Blog Posts, sitting unpublished because I’m afraid I’ll offend someone, or I’m still agonizing over every word before I think it’s worth sharing. In the meantime, I come across blog posts expressing ideas similar to pieces I’ve half-finished, and it’s a little depressing to feel like someone keeps beating me to the punch.

Time is so, so limited and precious. Instead of writing, I often wonder if I should spend that time folding laundry, doing work I actually get paid for, or something really crazy like sleeping.

Before you get out your tiny violin to play for me, I swear I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party or bait people to tell me I’m awesome. I’m all about full disclosure on this blog, and that means both the highs and the lows. When one of my posts was accepted on Scary Mommy, it absolutely blew my mind and gave me an unbelievable sense of validation. But it didn’t take long for that nagging inner voice of self-doubt to pop back up. Even the possibility that I inadvertently ripped off another blogger made me question the value of everything else I’ve written, and whether I should continue.

But I’m going to fight those self-defeating instincts. That inner voice just needs to shut the hell up. I know that I have more to say, and that there are at least a handful of friends and strangers out there who might be encouraged it.

I can never say it enough: thank you to every single person who has given me encouragement for my blog. That support means more than I can possibly convey.

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